Knowing Hubby

So, how long does it take in a relationship before you know the other person better than they know themselves? I don't know when it happened, we've been together 14 years and I swear it really cuts down on arguments, because rather than argue about things he wants to do, I know he usually won't, so I just smile and nod. For instance, it could be my morning to sleep in and him to get up with the kids (I usually get one of these a month) and the night before he'll come up with this great idea to go to church, or to the park, or to his parents or whatever, early, and not allowing me to sleep in. I'll say "sure" and KNOW that there is no way that he is going any further than the couch in the morning. It works well.
So yesterday, he decided that he was going to go back to work today. Since he can't drive, I asked what time he wanted to leave, and asked that he not sleep until it was time for HIM to get ready. I wanted him to get up and help get the kids ready since we would all have to take him to work. Well, he took a nap yesterday afternoon from 1-6 and during that time I realized he WOULD NOT be going to work today. I knew he woud be up all night and be tired. I asked him again before bed what time he wanted to leave and he said 8:20. I smiled on the inside, because I KNEW he wouldn't go. The kids got up at 7:00 and he stayed in bed. He came down at 8:00 and said he was tired and NOT going to work. How is it that I knew this yesterday, and he didn't know until he woke up this morning? I really want to know how this works? Anyone else have the same situation?

Hubby took a spill

I’ve been absent for the last couple of days and I apologize. My husband collapsed on Saturday and we’ve been at the hospital since, trying to figure out what happened. He was in our son’s room feeding the fish and just fainted, I guess, he doesn’t remember a thing. Our son found him on the floor and “woke” him up, and then came to tell me that daddy had something red on his face and coming out if his eye. He must’ve crashed into the stand that the fish tank is on, got a nice lump and one stitch to his forehead, and two stitches on his eyelid. He most likely would have been released if he had remembered the incident, but even when I went up and asked if he had fallen or tripped he looked at me blankly and told me no. When I informed him that we were going to have to go to the hospital he wanted to know why and insisted he was fine and just sitting watching the fish. I ended up having our neighbor (Thank you Troy) help me get him downstairs, and we made the decision to call 911, since he was having trouble staying awake.
They have run a battery of tests the last 2 days, mostly heart related, as they assume this is the reason he passed out without warning. All tests have come back without incident, and I’m not sure we’ll ever know what happened or what caused it. For now, though, apparently the Doctor must notify DMV of the “fainting” and Hubby will not be allowed to drive for 6 MONTHS!We just brought him home from the hospital and just in time for Hunter’s birthday. He’s 5 today, and just glad to have Daddy home, even if his party got “postponed.”

Why NOT to spank our children
Sureshrani PaintalSureshrani Paintal is Associate Professor, Early Childhood Education, Chicago State University, Chicago, Illinois.
Consequences of Corporal PunishmentAccumulated research supports the theory that corporal punishment is an ineffective discipline strategy with children of all ages and, furthermore, that it is often dangerous. Corporal punishment most often produces in its victims anger, resentment, and low self-esteem. It teaches violence and revenge as solutions to problems, and perpetuates itself, as children imitate what they see adults doing. Research substantiates the following consequences of corporal punishment:
Children whose parents use corporal punishment to control antisocial behavior show more antisocial behavior themselves over a long period of time, regardless of race and socioeconomic status, and regardless of whether the mother provides cognitive stimulation and emotional support (Gunnoe & Mariner, 1997; Kazdin, 1987; Patterson, DeBaryshe, & Ramsey, 1989; Straus, Sugarman, & Giles-Sims, 1997).
A consistent pattern of physical abuse exists that generally starts as corporal punishment, and then gets out of control (Kadushin & Martin, 1981; Straus & Yodanis, 1994).
Adults who were hit as children are more likely to be depressed or violent themselves (Berkowitz, 1993; Strassberg, Dodge, Pettit, & Bates, 1994; Straus, 1994; Straus & Gelles, 1990; Straus & Kantor, 1992).
The more a child is hit, the more likely it is that the child, when an adult, will hit his or her children, spouse, or friends (Julian & McKenry, 1993; Straus, 1991; Straus, 1994; Straus & Gelles, 1990; Straus & Kantor, 1992; Widom, 1989; Wolfe, 1987).
Corporal punishment increases the probability of children assaulting the parent in retaliation, especially as they grow older (Brezina, 1998).
Corporal punishment sends a message to the child that violence is a viable option for solving problems (Straus, Gelles, & Steinmetz, 1980; Straus, Sugarman, & Giles-Sims, 1997).
Corporal punishment is degrading, contributes to feelings of helplessness and humiliation, robs a child of self-worth and self-respect, and can lead to withdrawal or aggression (Sternberg et al., 1993; Straus, 1994).
Corporal punishment erodes trust between a parent and a child, and increases the risk of child abuse; as a discipline measure, it simply does not decrease children's aggressive or delinquent behaviors (Straus, 1994).
Children who get spanked regularly are more likely over time to cheat or lie, be disobedient at school, bully others, and show less remorse for wrongdoing (Straus, Sugarman, & Giles-Sims, 1997).
Corporal punishment adversely affects children's cognitive development. Children who are spanked perform poorly on school tasks compared to other children (Straus & Mathur, 1995; Straus & Paschall, 1998).
Parental corporal punishment is associated with higher levels of immediate compliance and aggression, lower levels of moral internalization and mental health, delinquency and antisocial behavior, quality of parent child relationship, and likelihood of becoming a victim of physical abuse (Gershoff, 2002).

Wine at 5?
Tisdale, Merlot

Betty Crocker?

Okay, so yesterday my darling son was watching TV and came across a commercial for, I believe, a Betty Crocker cake decorating set. Now, while I'm no Betty, I did promise myself that each year I would make the kids cakes, I think I get better each year?



Hunter's 1st was an Elmo cake.

He had a regular chocolate cake for his 2nd.

Thomas for his 3rd!

Lightening McQueen for his 4th.

And this year is (was) supposed to be Spiderman.

Chelsea had brownie ice cream cakes for her 1st,

...And Dora for her 2nd!

Anyway, after watching the commercial, my son asks me if I would like one of the kits. I explained that I already had most of the stuff that was in it. He told me the Betty Crocker one was really easy to use. I explained that often in commercials they say things that may not always be true to try and get you to buy things. I also explained that the "supplies" I had were enough for now, adding "Don't you like the cakes Mommy makes for your birthdays?" He replied, "They taste great, mom, but they don't look as good as those." referring to the ones on TV.

So, should I really spend the time to make his cake...or just buy a nicer looking one? That will be my pondering today.

Wine at 5?

Tisdale, Merlot

A great wine I stumbled across for $3 a bottle!

Rough Day.

I shouldn't even be able to say that...Rough day. What do I know about a rough day.
I recently changed direction on another blog of mine. It started as a documentation of a website I was trying to create, and mid stream, I found a more deserving cause (of my time). I recently started Because Someone Cares, and it is about kids in need. I've come across stories of some pretty courageous kids and their families. My goal is to find one story per day and to post about the illness or tragedy that has put these children in their current positions in life and the people who support and take care of them. It is very heartbreaking to read about these precious children and their families.
The blog is new, and the early posts are still about the previously mentioned website, but I felt I needed to do something to help these children. Fatal illnesses affect us all, and while I'm not insensitive to the adult illnesses, (My mother passed away from M.S. and my step mother is aflected with it as well) as a Mother, I know that I pray to God daily, that if he has any tragedies in store for my children, he rethink it, and give them to me. I'm sure the Mothers of these children would take the illness on themselves if they could, so I will focus on the children.

My "rough day" is just due to being tired and not having the patience I should with my children. They were tired as well, I knew this, I need to watch what I say, I need to be more creative in getting their help in picking up and NOT creating more messes. I need to spend more time with them doing things and not just "in the room" on the computer or on the phone.

Wine at 5?
Angove's, Nine Vines
94%Shiraz, 6%Viognier

Religious Beliefs

So the kids are 3 days in to VBS. They are staying up way later than they should, but it's one week and it makes the in laws very happy to take them. I, as I mentioned, was raised Jewish, and really never felt a strong calling to continue going to services once I was no longer "forced" to go by my parents. My husband and In laws are Southern Baptist and take their faith very seriously. I personally have issues with organized religion but feel it is important for my children to make their own decisions.
I believe in God, and do not think that he would prefer one religion over another. The God I believe in, loves us all no matter what Religion we are.
It is a hard subject to discuss with people as we all have our different beliefs and levels of faith. I think we should all do what is right for "us" and refrain from judging others who may have different beliefs.

Vacation Bible School

So, the kids have VBS this week. Mima and Papa pick them up at 6pm and bring them home at 9pm. seems kinda late for my 2 and 4 year old that usually are asleep by this time, but after last night, 3 hours of alone time with hubby, adult tv, and no interruptions, I'm all for it!
I was discussing this with a lifelong girlfriend of mine who was confused, I was raised Jewish and she didn't understand how I could let my children go to VBS. It brought up some good points that I will discuss tomorrow, as I really want to enjoy the alone time now (with Hubby).

Wine at 5:
Pillar Red Box
A nice Australian blend I am really enjoying, thanks to my parents and the World Market gift card they sent at Christmas.

Great site.

So, I was doing some blog hopping this morning, as I always do, and I came across Mom on a Mission. Wow, I wish I could be this organized. This woman is involved in several charities like Kiva and Heifer International and is a regular user of freecycle. I'm lucky if I get the bag of clothes for the AMVETS out to the curb each month. She's raising two children and really has her act together. I'll be checking in on her blog regularly to remind myself how much more I should be doing. It has inspired me to do a little more to get my kids involved in the recycling process we have at home, as well as getting them involved in some local charity events. We currently are signed up for the Memory walk to support Alzheimer's in October, but we really need to do more.
Check out Stac's blog and her charities. It really is worth your time.

Childhood memories

I often wonder what my children will remember of their life so far, or if they will remember anything (they are 2 and 4 after all) when they are grown. I know for me, my earliest childhood memory was a dinner of ravioli with my brothers. I was 5, my older brother would have been 7 or 8 (I don't know what month or even what season it was) and my little brother would have been 4. We were eating our ravioli as we listened to the all familiar sounds of our parents arguing upstairs. Then it was quiet for what seemed like a long time. We were all called upstairs. and Mom and Dad were sitting on the bed, and next to Dad was a suitcase. Yep, they were calling it quits, and called us up to inform us that Dad was moving out.
While I wish I had earlier memories of all of us together, I just don't. I do however, take comfort in knowing that maybe some of the mistakes I've made with my own children (yelling, losing my patience, more yelling) will NOT be remembered. I try every day to be patient and understanding and know that since my son will be 5 in a couple weeks, I need to step up my game. We have had lots of fun times together and those are the times I want them to remember, not Mommy losing her temper and raising her voice.

I need Pictures

So, I was just web surfing (does anyone watch Miss Spider? Now that's some web surfing) and came across some beautiful pictures on http://www.photogb-log.com/. Now, I like to take pictures, but don't really get to take the beautiful scenic pictures on this site. I'm mainly the "take a million pictures of the kids" type. The site did make me realize that I needed to get some pics on this blog. I'll share one of my favorites of my son from about 2 years ago.

He was actually hanging off the couch, like little kids do, and I just love the twinkle in his eye. I'll have to get more pics up to humanize my blog. Thanks again to Pho-Tog B-log for sharing her beautiful pics and giving me the idea to post my own.

Gymnastics?

So my darling little girl and I will start our Mommy and Me gymnastics class this morning. I'm not sure what I was thinking when I signed us up. Apparently, I wasn't. Hunter took a class in the Spring and I tried to get her in a dance class at the same time, but the class was full. So when I signed Hunter up for the summer gymnastics class, I did it on the first day of registration and knew I would get Chelsea into her dance class...WRONG. I guess the dance instructor takes the summer off. So, I'm mentally preparing myself for our class. It should be fun. She's 2, so it can't be that strenuous. I consider myself in decent shape for my age, but in no way can I compete with the flexibility of 2 year olds.
Later tonight I have Moms night out with the girls. We're having sushi and other Asian fair and we'll be playing games. Gotta remember to pick up some Sake on the way home from gymnastics.

Sake at Five?

Smart Woman

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one.
Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. God works in mysterious ways.
After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers; the woman says, "So you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".
Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God! But your still at fault…women shouldn't be allowed to drive."
The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cork back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police…."
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever, evil bitches.Don't mess with us.

Just another Friday

We're at home. The kids and I and another little girl I watch on Fridays while her Mom goes to work. Sometimes I think I should be working, but I'm just not motivated to leave my kids with someone else.
I went back to work after my first was born, and my MIL watched him. That worked for 13 months until my FIL had his third heart attack and we all the sudden needed to put Hunter in day care. He was there for 9 weeks and miserable the whole time. That's when I decided that I would rather be in debt, live in a shoebox, whatever, I just couldn't let my baby suffer. I stopped working and cut our income by more than half.
Now we have 2 precious babies and I try to do anything I can to make a little extra money (watching this little girl on Fridays) and try to stretch our money as much as I can.
I figure one more year, and then I can put Chelsea in preschool with an after care program, and Hunter will be in school all day. I just have no idea what I want to do.
I was a restaurant manager for 17 years and that is just NOT an option. The hours are not conducive to family life, at least not for me. Maybe a bank? I don't know. I guess I better add that to my list of things to do.

Got a late start

More like wine at 5:45.
My son had a friend over all day and he just wears me out. Always needs something, and is not only impatient, but tattles about everything. I can be sitting in the room and someone accidentally kicks a pillow to the floor and he's telling me about it. It drives me nuts. But my son likes his company, so I tolerate him. He is 2 years older than my soon to be 5 year old and it will be nice in the Fall when Hunter will have the chance to make more friends his age. He is standing up to him more and more, and not tolerating his bossiness, it's great to see him grow more confident but I feel bad for his friend. Enough, it's an old subject.
Today I was pretty unproductive. Sat in my "office" (Chair in the corner of the living room) on the computer most the day. I'm in the midst of "trying" to develop a website, but have lost momentum and honestly have no idea what I'm doing. I have an idea, and am studying the concept of web development, so it's going to be a long process. I'm learning a lot, so it's good for my brain, I just get distracted and lose interest from time to time.
Time to get dinner on the table.
Have a glass of wine on me.
Today's wine: Barefoot, Shiraz

First Post

A new blog.
I have an account with Bravenet and had set up a personal blog, then I changed it to a business blog, completely deleting the first, thinking my life really wasn't all that exciting anyway. Now I miss the personal posts. I actually enjoyed venting and sharing, usually just with myself things that were going on.
So, here I am setting up another blog, just for me, and anyone who wants to join in. I love my wine at 5 and sometimes post after a glass or two, so I apologize in advance for any ramblings. I hope you can connect with some of the things I find enjoyable, interesting, funny and will check back often and leave me some feedback.